Remembering Jane

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The life of Jane Rima Wallace Carney Schulze 

May 7 1934- Nov 15 2011

Writings, videos, photos from the life of Jane.  Scroll down to see people's comments after she passed.  

Feel free to send us your favorite photos to be uploaded here also.

Thank You

July 4, 1992

To Walk Everywhere

  And to forgive

God, Thank you.


To Walk Everywhere

  And to learn

God, Thank you.


To Walk Everywhere

  And to understand

God, Thank you.


To Walk Everywhere

  And to love

God, Thank you.

I was asked:

What is your Secret to Happiness?


My answer:

Know Thyself

Be true to yourself and be false to no one.

Be as honest with yourself and others as you know how to be

Share the process of self-knowledge freely with all who ask.

Listen closely to them when they share

Surround yourself with children and younger people and listen to their advice and wisdom.

Stay in the moment

Sing, dance, love, and laugh often as possible and

Seek out the trees.

Memorial for Jane Carney Schulze

1934-2011


Jane was born Rima Jane Wallace, in Chicago on May 7th 1934, to Charles and Mona Wallace. Eight years later, her brother Charles Jr. was born in Dallas, TX. The Wallace family moved to California and settled near Palm Springs, in the small town of Thousand Palms. Here Charles and Mona helped his brother Dewey and his wife June manage and operate the Wallace Date Ranch and Date Shop. Her years here were happy ones growing up with her beloved cousins Joan, Dorothy, and Dewey Jr.


The family spent several years in Washington D.C. An accomplished violinist, Jane was for several years Concert Mistress for the Washington Junior Symphony Orchestra. She also sang in choirs for years. She met and married Richard Carney in 1953. Later she earned her B.A. in psychology at the University of Washington.


The family lived for many years in San Diego and Jane was involved in a truly remarkable range of projects, many of which centered on bettering the lives of children. Working with the community, parents and professionals she co-founded two preschools for children with emotional-behavioral problems. One of these, The Yellow Submarine, an interracial preschool, was a parent cooperative operating out of Chollas View United Methodist Church. She was a teacher in preschools through college for over 45 years. 


Richard and Jane were parents to three children: Cathy (now named Amara), Daniel and Bonnie. All three enriched her life as she enriched theirs. She loved and enjoyed her four grandchildren: Ryan, Jason, Guy and Heron and their friends and partners. She was delighted by Rolf's young grandchildren, Levon and Erica. Her popularity with her grandchildren was apparent in the time they eagerly spent with her.


She was a faculty member in Sociology at San Diego State University, Department of Sociology, and Southwestern College in the Department of Child Development. She counseled diverse families with children of all ages and consulted with various programs such as Head Start, the California Council on Wellness and Physical Fitness, the YMCA and public and private schools. She wrote and spoke extensively on family issues in the U.S. as well as internationally, and was named North American Coordinator for the United Nations' International Year of the Family in 1994.


She married Rolf Schulze in 1988 and they were dear friends and partners until her passing. They gave each other strength, while sharing their many talents. She was active in promoting Parenting Education classes in public and private schools, and wrote the book It's OK to Talk About Sex with her husband Rolf. Jane participated in many protest marches and rallies, and was politically active her whole life. She worked with the Farm Workers Union and Caesar Chavez, and the United Domestic Workers Union as an organizer. She supported anti-nuclear movements, women's reproductive choice and women's empowerment.


Jane passed away at home on Nov 15th, 2011. Jane's life was informed by the strengths of her character: empathy, compassion and joy in the people around her. All of us who knew and loved her are her people. She lives on in the hearts of those her life touched. We will never forget her.


By Charles Wallace III, Jane's brother.

Comments from friends and family

Letter to my friends and family after Jane's passing, by Amara Karuna


Hello dear ones,

Today my illustrious mother, Jane, passed out of this world,

in the afternoon.  I am so happy she left during the day when we were

awake to be with her.   She was slowly fading and becoming more

unresponsive after 10 days of not eating, and three of not drinking.

Heron and Jane's husband Rolf and I were holding her, singing and

crying.  It was like watching someone slowly fade into the distance,

until they are out of sight.   Her face became very beautiful in

repose.  I dressed her and put rose petals and candles and flowers

around her, as people came to sit with her.


These last three weeks were very intense for me, as I was the

primary caretaker for about 10 days, until Heron and Rolf got back

from their travels.  Jane was talking, walking around, eating at the

table and directing me in what needed to happen when I got here.

Over those weeks, she had to let go of all those abilities, let go of

keeping track of anything except her own internal process, and let go of being able to do anything for herself.  It was a very fast

transition, so every day was different, and every day she was less

able to function.  It was very hard for her to accept her increasing

limitations, since she had been so assertive and competent.  We spent a lot of time having sessions where she grieved her losses.  We worked through forgiveness and fears.


She was extremely sensitive to any sensation, smell, or

light, and she was very afraid and upset, so keeping her comfortable


was very difficult and took all my training in healing and therapy,

and lots of meds.  I felt like I had been training all my life to be

able to offer this to my mom.  I would wake up in the night hearing

her call me, when no sound had happened. I also called in her

acupuncturist, who gave sessions for pain and for easing out of the

body.   We hired people to care for her at night so we could sleep.

All the caretakers fell in love with her.


The whole time, I kept thinking how it was like taking care

of a very sick child.  How many times did she take care of me when I was sick as a child?  How much trouble was I as a baby?  It felt

really good to be able to return the service.  It is joyful to serve

when it is truly needed.  I just kept relaxing into the process of

focusing on her, knowing that these were precious days.


She said many amazing things as the process when on.  Once

she became lucid out of the morphine induced haze, and said " Why did you decide to take this role?"  I said, "Which role?"  not knowing what level she was thinking on.  She said "Of being my daughter."  I do remember being called into this life, by the warmth of her heart light.  I said "Because I knew you would be a really great mom, and that you really wanted me."  We cried.  


Once she said, with a look of wonder "There are so many worlds... I wish I could tell you."  Once she said "Lets start over again being really real with each other.  I know I'm dying now... can we still start over?"  I assured her that there was still time to learn.  She was using the experience to learn right til the end.


It was a tricky mix of feelings these last few days, as she

became less and less present, sleeping more.  It was hard to just

wait it out, and let the process happen at it's own pace.  There was

such an urge to just put her out of her misery, to set her free.  But

we realized that the body had it's own natural process of shutting

down the shop, and so mostly it was about waiting and supporting.

Some very sweet moments happened during those weeks, as all

the relatives and friends came to say goodbye.  We often did Laulima, the Hawaiian form of laying of of hands/reiki when a group of us were visiting.  It always relaxed her.  There was a poignant moment two weeks ago when she realized "I am never going to walk again, am I?"

The last meal she ate was cooked by her grandson Pete, a professional cook.  One of the last conscious actions she took was to weakly grasp Heron's hand and kiss it.   We all felt the special bond that came from sharing life transitions... she was at Heron's birth, and Heron was at her death.


I feel incredible deep love and joy for her freedom.  I look

forward to having her near me in my heart from now on.  Now the

boundaries don't seem so real... she is one of my soul mates.

Now comes the time of consoling others who feel her loss...

the neighbors who she befriended all down the block, the political

activists who she worked with for children's rights, for integration,

for anti nuclear causes... the parents whose children she taught at

one of the first interracial preschools... the people she adopted as

family who were not blood related... and all her three children,

grandchildren, and many others.  Time for designing a memorial

ceremony, and guiding it.

Time for pulling my attention back into myself, and

decompressing.  And enjoying my daughter and other relatives. time for looking at old pictures and movies.  Time for perspective on the mystery of life.  Time to return to the world of Occupy movements and global warming and an uncertain future.  But now I face it knowing that I completed this task well.  A parent bring in a child, and the child ideally ushers out the parent.  I was blessed to be in the room when both my parents passed.  My job is done there.

One door is closing, another is opening.  what will it bring?

sending you love

Amara

Response:

Wonderful message...but you left something out...She was lucky (though her design was in it to a great degree) to have produced three children who brought all that love back to her... this, in the end, is the profound truth in the "golden rule" and my sister lived that like no one I have ever encountered.  Thank you for all you have done.

Love,

Chuck

Hello Amara,


Thank you for writing such a lovely account of how to took care of your mom, and allowing Rolf to share it with us.  It reminded me strongly of my mother's death two years ago, when we were also fortunate enough to be there with her at the end, and that matters so much.  It sounds like you made sure that Jane passed in the most peaceful, wholesome way possible.  Thank you for that. 


 I decided against coming to sit with her in the last few days because it sounded like she wouldn't get much out of it, and I felt that she and I had said everything to one another that we needed to say.  I am so grateful that she got to meet my daughter Rosemary and that Rosemary got to meet her when we visited Jane a few times this summer.  As you may know, my sister Ellie and I adopted Jane as our honorary godmother, which she always liked, and she was tickled by her new title of "Great Godmother" to Rosemary.  I will always treasure Jane's memory and keep her in my heart, and I will teach Rosemary about her so her memory will carry on.


Love, Sarah Stockwell

In all the time I've know her, Jane has been a role model to me as the epitome of kindness, tolerance and caring - a friend to the world. And she has always been a dear, dear friend to me.


Much love to you


Connie McCullen

My dearest family,


   We just heard last night that Jane had passed away.  Jim and I sat together on our boat so far away from all of you, holding each other, crying and remembering the things that made Jane such a special and unique person on this earth.  She has always held such a warm, loving place inside of us.  


Jane was truly a good souled person in every way that truly counted.  She shared her unconditional love, unbelievable kindness and open heart with all that knew her.  No one could leave behind a more wonderful legacy than that.  We are all so lucky, in so many ways, to have been part of such an amazing person's life.  We are so grieved by your loss.  It feels impossible to imagine our lives without Jane's comforting voice, advise and open arms.  Please know that we will be with you all in spirit this weekend at her memorial.


With all our love to all of you,  Johnnie Lou and Jim in Grenada, West Indies

If there is one place Jane will live on in each of us - it is in our Hearts for she possessed the most warm and welcoming and open Heart of anyone I have ever met... Everyone who met her grew in their capacity to Love because of her completely non-judgmental and open heart. It was impossible to hold on to Fear Anger or Hurt in the presence of Jane as the power of her Love Invariably healed even the most wounded of heart. Her heart was both Immovable and Irresistible. In this she is both an inspiration and a challenge to us all.


With All my Love and Respect.

Eric.Schulze

Hi Family

We are unable to be at Jane’s services…physically.  Please know how much we are with you, as you are all in our thoughts and hearts.

Jane had such an amazing ability to seek out and find good in everything…situations, events, but most importantly…people. You always knew she would listen, care deeply and give you honest, thoughtful feedback and perspectives. She seemed to have an unlimited capacity to give love and support.


Never once did I doubt that I was loved by her, as she consistently demonstrated that throughout my entire life. During good times and rough times, she could be counted on to be right there, supporting in any way she could. She was a rock for me and many others.

She will be deeply, deeply missed; however she is certainly not gone. She gave so much of herself and was such an important special person in my life.  She will always be part of me, since knowing her, helped shape me into who I am.


All our love

Alice, Glen and Iva

While you can't push a river as you so beautifully put it, few people I know have contributed so much to the positive flow of so many individual streams. Thank you for the Yellow Submarine, for what you did for UDW and for our mutual "son" Ali but most of all for your on-going, loving friendship and interest in me and in so many others. I love you. 


Barbara Filner

A life well lived is a life worth living.


Jane, you have certainly embodied that ideal with an indomitable spirit, a zesty joie de vivre and a remarkable and inspirational commitment to making this world a better place.


You light up a room with your warmth. Your optimism is always refreshing. Your enthusiasm contagious.


The river of life, as you have said, keeps on flowing. Weеve been privileged to paddle on that river with you а and by synchronizing our strokes to appreciate your spirit and to aim our canoes towards better tomorrows for everyone.


  With all of our love,


SHARI & LARRY Remer

My favorite line in the book Mutant Messages from Down Under is what the aboriginal tribe would say both to babies just born and elders passing away -- "We love you and we support you on your journey." Just like I'll never forget the simple beauty of those words, I'll never forget how good you always were to my many siblings and me. Jane, you were always ready with good humor and words of encouragement at a time in my life when that wasn't always easy to come by and I often felt invisible and unimportant. 


I don't know that 'thank you' is adequate enough, but I will attempt to make it so. Thank you for always having a smile for me, thank you for giving me hugs for every reason and no reason at all, thank you for seeing me, and thank you for making me feel heard and loved. In short, thank for making me feel valued and I hope that I was able to convey, if not through our interactions over the years, then through this letter how very valuable you were to a lonely little girl and the woman she became. I love you and I support you on your journey.


With so much love & affection,

Toshaleza Msemaji Chillous

Jane has always been of the highest integrity and devotion to Love. I loved Jane at first meeting and it has been easy to continue. I remember Jane saying she felt that her life will continue after death in the memories of the living and the value of her contributions to humanity and all beings.  She has certainly insured herself of a rich afterlife. I love her and always will.


 I also give thanks for Rolf and his sincere commitment to Jane. He has been setting up a great afterlife for himself by loving her so well. I love him and wish for his peace in his time of deep changes.


 And I have to mention the fantastic family that Jane has watched over and nurtured. What a totally lit-up crew! I am so honored to have been part of Jane's brood and I am sorry my present evolution takes me so far away. My heart is still with you all. 


Please know that I am ecstatically happy and I hope I have given as much inspiration and support as i have so abundantly received. Jane's first-born daughter and first-born grand-daughter have been and continue to be the most profound relationships in my life that fill me with contentment and made/make my existence meaningful.


Bright Blessings

Gary- Gree- Hafiz- Inayat  

(Amara's Ex husband, father of Jane's granddaughter Heron)

(Jane is one of the rare precious ones in my life who have known me by all my names.)